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A Family Practice
James
and Michal Sarzotti and their children, Cory, 14, and Jenna,
7, live in Hastings-on-Hudson, New York. They are one of the
growing number of Buddhist families that live along the Hudson
River.
On
September 7, 1977, His Eminence, the Venerable Deshung Rinpoche,
a Tibetan Buddhist master and at that time one of the senior-most
masters of the Sakya Order as well as a guru to His Holiness
the Sakya Trizin, started an extensive teaching on The Three
Visions to a small group of students in New York City. It
was the preparatory level of study and practice of the Lam
Dre, or "Path and Fruit" teachings, which are seminal
to the Sakya School. This "root teaching" gives
extensive instruction on the fundamental points of the impure
vision of conventional beings, the experiential vision of
meditators, and the pure vision of enlightened beings, or
Buddhas. By tremendous good fortune, we were being taught
the necessary foundations, and given the essential blessings
for our own future spiritual transformations akin to those
of the lineage masters, who are in themselves the last word,
and embodied proof, of the schools truth. We all hoped
to stand on the shoulders of giants.
Rinpoche, by teaching to our particular, and disparate, level
of spiritual development, both cited and demonstrated the
saintly bodhisattvas conduct as our model. He encouraged
a spiritual orientation motivated by the love of all beings
through a selfless concern for them. As our knowledge and
aspirations grew along the lines of generosity, moral conduct,
patience, vigor, meditation, and insight, he constantly exhorted
us to gather the two heaps of "merit and wisdom"
necessary to Buddhahood. We well remember Rinpoche at that
time saying that of the profound preliminary and advanced
esoteric practices, It is the deep teachings that are
given first. The depth of these first teachings is still
the core of what has become our "family practice,"
and the dharma family that we are today is owed to that fortuitous
meeting and priceless tutelage with Rinpoche.
During and after those teachings, Michal and I, who were not
married then, individually had the opportunity to spend time
living with Rinpoche, learning his prayers, and eating and
talking with him. We became hooked on his extraordinary attitude,
his magnanimous outlook, his substance, his mannersand
the caring he felt for life and all its beings. Once, while
Michal was staying at the center with Rinpoche and his brother,
Dr. Kunsang Nyima, preparing for a retreat, she observed her
teachers great compassion up close.
It was a hot, humid day in New York, and the many windows
were open to let the occasional breeze waft through. But rather
than letting in a cool breeze, the open windows invited in
a multitude of insects. One particularly obnoxious fly landed
on our donuts and dive-bombed our eyes. I could not help thinking
mean thoughts about this pesky being. After numerous attempts
to brush it away from our breakfast, I looked up to see this
bug walking along the rim of Rinpoches teacup, and before
I knew it, he had fallen in and drowned. I was horrified that
Rinpoches tea had been ruined. Rinpoche was horrified,
too, but not for the same reason. He scooped up that fly from
his hot tea and held him in the palm of his hand. He held
that fly as if it were his most precious child. He leaned
over the flys wet little body and said prayers. He smoothed
the rumpled little wings and whispered to him. That nameless
bug then became for me a tiny being receiving his bardo instructions
and all of Rinpoches overwhelming love and compassion.
I have never seen anyone treat even another person with such
tenderness.
Rinpoche was a role model for faithfulness in relationships
to all beings, human and otherwise. Like no one else we had
ever known, he cleared up a lot of confusion. Rinpoche taught
us not only meditation, but also skills for living. He was
the absolute model for living the dharma, from saying prayers
for dead bugs to sorting out family squabbles, to teaching
the most profound doctrines. He raised us in the dharma, and
even though we were ignorant and childish in our desires,
we learned at least that there was a need for something greater
than our own narrow concerns. We had tasted his level of love
and compassion, his profound wisdom, and his many other priceless
qualities, and did not want to be separated from them.
After a while, it dawned on us that Rinpoche wasnt always
going to be available to us in the same way. Being in the
company of monks, being allowed to experience the world of
renunciation and commitment to the Buddhas teaching
made us view life from a different perspective. The monastic
life was the Buddhas "brainchild," as the
Venerable Lama Pema Wangdak has said. The vows and rules of
conduct found in the Vinaya, the Buddhas teaching for
the community of monks and nuns, created for the first time
all the best causes and conditions for spiritual growth within
a community. To give up one's self-centered interests, to
devote one's self to a life of hard inner work and compassion
for all beings is a daunting choice and one deserving of profound
respect. What better work, what higher purpose could there
be than this kind of life that was revealed to us at Deshung
Rinpoches Jetsun Sakya Center?
Both Michal and I desired to make Rinpoches example
our way of life. We felt, however, that the center would not
hold, on many levels, and in order to preserve what we had
learned, we needed to create a foolproof alternative to the
mainstream values. We wanted to take the dharma home with
us. We wanted to make it work, so we decided to marry and
create a nuclear family, but we wanted to bring to it the
views and values we had learned from Buddhism.
Now that we have children, and are undeniably householders,
one might ask how we maintain a genuine sense of spiritual
continuity, especially since it was fostered by a monastic
lifestyle. Well, one thing Rinpoche taught us was that you
never know who is a Buddha, and this should inform the way
one treats all beings. When our son, Cory, received his dharma
name, Deshung Rinpoche said, This is the name of my
best friend from childhood. It was unforgettableRinpoche,
sitting in his chair, an imposing figure of age and size,
looking down upon this tiny little person who could barely
sit up, and saying, Jamyang Samphel was my best friend.
And this was not the first time Deshung Rinpoche had intimated
that there was no difference between the person who has the
dharma name now and the one who had it in the past. In referring
to how one of our sangha members had the same name as a previous
Dalai Lama, Rinpoche said, You are him. You are that
Sonam Gyatso! We are of course not talking about tulkus
here, but rather the inseparability of beings. Again, when
our daughter Jenna was born, on the same date as Deshung Rinpoches
parinarvana, she became a constant reminder of him, and every
time we celebrate her birth date, we also celebrate Rinpoches
parinarvana. This continuity of beings, the close connection
between them, and the care Rinpoche demonstrated toward them
is our spiritual continuity, and it continues to shape our
intentions in raising Cory and Jenna.
Within our family, there is an enduring connection between
us born from, as Tibetans say, "our own lama," and
from that perspective, what our family is, is a little sangha
of four. At home, we say Rinpoches prayers at meals,
and we feel the children are comfortable with all the things
that are part of the dharma. There is a solidarity between
our family practice and the lamas we have met, who have taught
and teach us, that makes them and their lineages an integral
part of our life, just like any family relations. And for
our children, as first generation American Buddhists, this
formative influence, beginning with the Venerable Deshung
Rinpoche, is part of their heritage. In picking us as parents,
they were born into a situation in which they have access
to a lot of spiritual ancestors, an entire lineage, which
is like having a lot of wonderful family relations. So, for
instance, when they see a monk or nun walking down the street,
they are reminded of, and may even feel as though they are
a part of, that greater community. For us, when we were just
coming to Buddhism, finding a bona fide spiritual friend,
or a real guru, was almost more than we hoped for, as it was
an end in itself of the searcher's journey. But to our children,
who grew up with Deshung Rinpoche and other great lamas, it
is a given. They have an entire spiritual family, and it is
as ordinary to them as a family "refuge" tree.
Our son, having grown up virtually in the laps of his parents'
precious gurus, has been heard to remark, How would
you face the lamas if you ever left the dharma? Our
daughter, in first grade, has drawn pictures of dogs with
multiple arms, hand ornaments, and miniature gurus sitting
with flames above their heads. The iconography of Vajrayana
has clearly become part of her world. On the other hand, she
has been heard to remark that the real reason prayers are
said before meals is to let the food cool down. And our son,
when asked about his participation in recent Losar and Monlam
festivities, said, surprisingly to us, Im just
along for the ride. We were hoping he meant the vehicle
in which he was riding was the Vajrayana, or at least, that
he was "resting" in the Middle Way. But these days,
you cant be too sure. And after all, we may be "noble
sons and daughters from a good family," but illusion-projecting
parents we still are. We tell ourselves they could, given
the surprising, preemptive nature of karma, grow up to be
many things we will not understand, nor approve of. But we
also realize the formative influences are just that, karma
shaping, and the seeds of compassionate and wise role models,
such as the lamas provide, hopefully increase the chances
for our childrens Buddha qualities to fruit. In this
way, our offspring are no different from their senior sangha
members, with the major difference remaining that they are
not "converts." They are the first generation of
American Tibetan Buddhists.
Our children find Christian topics, such as, the death of
Christ on the cross, the three persons in one God, and the
Creation story of Adam and Eve with the apple and the evil
serpent, interesting, and they talk with their Christian friends
about the differences in their respective religions. Perhaps
this is because my wife, Michal, and I have openly "debated"
Buddhist doctrine in front of our children since their births.
It is a familial, as well as constitutional, freedom. Our
son, older by seven years than our seven-year-old daughter,
grasps logical fallacies and subtle contradictory "view
issues" about the inherit "problems" of origin.
Whereas our daughter just blurts out, Then who made
God? And who made the God that made that God? These
sorts of "religious discussions" poignantly prove
the need for authentic religious training, whether Christian,
Buddhist, or any of the other great religions. Within all
this discussion, to us, one thing always remains a constant:
the purity and potency of the light from Tibet in the form
of the authentic religion of the Buddhas, the Mahasiddhas,
the great translators and gurus, monks and nuns, which now
has been made very accessible to us all, especially in the
presence of the many dharma centers, their qualified teachers,
and the many aptly translated dharma texts, such as, The Three
Levels of Spiritual Perception, just incidentally having been
written by "our own lama," the Venerable Deshung
Rinpoche.
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