In the Heat of Struggle: A Conversation with a Monk
by Anna Bornstein

Some people give you a very distinct impression, as if they were seen through a telescope. It has nothing to do with how long you have known them or what you know about them. Perhaps it is because they are able to be extremely present in the moment and because they are not obscured by the usual veils of fantasies, dreams, and subjective reactions that most of us are covered with.

This is the way a monk struck me when I met him during his first visit to Stockholm. He is a Tibetan Buddhist monk within the Sakya tradition. After many years as a teacher in the West, he is familiar with one of the big spiritual stumbling blocks for us Western seekers—our conflicting and complicated relationship with our instincts and our nature.

Anna Bornstein: In our cultural sphere, spirit has often come to be seen as something completely opposite to the earthly. In order to be spiritual, we think that we must be "non-bodily." In our attempt to free ourselves from the body, we have loaded our instincts and nature with negative projections. They have come to be seen as sinful and evil. However, according to Buddhism, the seed of enlightenment is within our earthly nature, which we therefore cannot neglect, but have to transform if we want to reach the highest goal.

Monk: When a person understands that worldly life cannot provide any real satisfaction, it is natural that he try to find another way of living that is not burdened with these shortcomings. He could simply try to escape, keep away from temptations, and in that way avoid being entangled by them. But that is not enough. Eventually, he must learn how to deal with the problem, and that is much more difficult.

Let us take desire as an example. Right now it doesn't bother me, but if I go downtown and see a beautiful woman, it will appear. She will create the spark that makes the desire blaze up. Another person may be very greedy at certain times, even though he is not plagued by it under normal circumstances. But one day he will see a fur coat in a shop window, and then his possessive instinct will awaken. To see the beautiful woman or the fur coat is the outer condition that releases desire or greed, which are the inner tendencies or habits of our minds. What should we do in order to overcome these? The first step is to decide not to continue to feed the desire by giving in to it. The best and most secure way to do this is to set up one's life so that one avoids such conditions—to take shelter behind the fence of renunciation, so that no dangers can come near. In the monastery, you seldom see beautiful women, but of course this doesn't prevent a monk from thinking about women. I may change a lot over the years in a monastery, because of the ascetic way of life and meditation practices; however, eventually I will discover that it is not outer conditions but mental habits that create desires. And these will still be in my mind, even if they are in a latent state. I am not free yet.

The second important phase of seeking is to overcome these inner tendencies, to see through them. You do not necessarily have to enter a monastery in order to do this. You can learn it in the world, even if the chances of succeeding are greater in a monastery. This work is what we call the development of wisdom.

My view of the world has changed. I have discovered that it is not as dangerous as I thought, and my negativity towards it has disappeared. Its phenomena and conditions are not the ultimate cause of my slavery. I let myself be enslaved because of my mental tendencies or habits. They are the root of evil.

AB: What kind of special methods do you use in order to see through the mental tendencies?

M: It is accomplished through penetrating, concentrated analysis and meditation. I analyze these habits, and when I have understood their true nature, I see that they, too, are a part of "the conditions" of the relative world and that they are not my true nature. It is like being on a battlefield in war and feeling the bullets whiz by you. First you are terrified at the mere thought of the bullets, but after some time, no matter how many bullets are whizzing past you, you will not notice them or react. You have much more important things to think about.

In the spiritual battle, we are also terrified at first, when we see our anger and passions, but eventually we come to understand that they, too, are a part of "the conditions," and that they have no reality in themselves. It is we who give them reality by letting ourselves be carried away by them. If we feed them, they will grow stronger. If we don't feed them, they will weaken.

AB: What do you mean by "feed them"? By thinking about and fantasizing about them, infusing them with our life force?

M: We create mental images that keep them alive. In my outer life, I may be avoiding women, but that is not enough. My deep-rooted habits create another inner world in my consciousness. I may think about a woman I knew many years ago, and this keeps the desire alive. I must penetrate the deeper layers of my mind where these habits reside and see through them there. Sometimes, this can prove to be extremely difficult.

To be in the grip of these strong feelings can be likened to living in the dark. The only thing you need in order to be free is the light of wisdom. When you have that, liberation happens without effort. But if you want to reach that point, great efforts are necessary.

For the vast majority of people, it is impossible to overcome the inner habits without first conquering the outer temptations. You need to understand the intimate relationship between outer and inner phenomena. When you have realized this inner attitude, you will begin to see that the mental tendencies are rooted in your selfishness. Then you are ready for the path of compassion. Through compassion, selfishness is eventually conquered, and you see that it, too, has no reality, but is only a thought, a mental tendency.

AB: Also through a natural process we may discover the strength of the inner habits, if something happens that prevents us from acting out our instincts, for example, if our beloved dies or abandons us.

M: Certainly, this understanding may come naturally, but most people are unaware of the strength of the mental tendencies. When this strength is discovered, we understand our situation—that it is our own mind that restricts, drives, and enslaves us. It is this that Buddha means when he says, "This is the truth about suffering." With this insight there will arise a wish to do something about our state of mind, for example, to start meditating.

AB: What do you mean by "meditation" in this context?

M: You start by reducing the number of thoughts. Instead of having one hundred thoughts, you concentrate on one. If you concentrate on a mental image, such as the image of Buddha, you must strive to keep it clear and distinct in your consciousness. This will require tremendous concentration. If you succeed for only a few seconds, it will produce results. Repeat the concentration again and again, trying to prolong it. Eventually, you will be able to keep the image for a few minutes. Then you really start acquiring mental strength. As soon as you succeed in keeping your attention in this steady focus, all of the ordinary world will disappear and you will experience an intense sense of happiness and freedom where there exist no feelings except the joy, no desires, no anger, no sense of darkness. You have to accomplish only a few seconds of deep concentration in order to have a glimpse of this. Later, the concentration can be prolonged to some hours or days.

The best approach to meditation is to view it not just as a practice, but as a way of living. Your whole life must have a meditative direction. What you do doesn't matter much, but you have to do it with this inner attitude. Just as a child grows though your giving it food every day, your mind will acquire inner stability and balance through your feeding it daily with the food of meditation.
In the ordinary state, we are always at the mercy of outer events and our feelings. Through meditation, we give the consciousness the nourishment it needs to overcome these obstacles. It is best not to expect anything, but to meditate just as regularly as we eat our meals.

AB: Many people experience a desert-like drought when they try to go inward, but you describe the experience of tranquillity as tremendously blissful. Do we need such experiences in order to really understand what we so often read in spiritual literature—that all happiness lies within?

M: Of course, it is that which is the aim. If you have this peace of mind, then everything, including thinking and ordinary sense experiences, will be brimming with happiness. You are not dependent upon your ego and your feelings, which are constantly exposed to influences, any more.

AB: Have you experienced this yourself?

M: It has happened, sometimes for a few short minutes.

AB: So there is a practicable path away from the natural state, with its passions, selfishness, greed, to what is in Buddhism called enlightenment? You are never cut off from this possibility, regardless of how dark and hopeless your mind may seem?

M: The Buddha nature is there already. It is our true nature that never changes, but it is covered with layer upon layer of delusions. The spiritual work may be likened to washing gold that is covered with mud and tar. Gold is analogous to our true nature. Our nature is there all the time and doesn't change through enlightenment. Enlightenment occurs when ignorance is removed and our nature shines forth.

(The above is an article from the Swedish magazine Mandala, No. 3 1991. Translated by Dag Tidemalm, Stockholm, Sweden, 1992.)